Monday Feb 14, 2011

Well now that the crisis is about over, I've figured out how to do a blog...maybe. I have no idea if anyone other than myself will ever read any of these, but it cant hurt to vent and maybe this will save some FB posts. From this point further, please note I will not be paying much attention to proper grammer, punctuation or any English rules what so ever. I just want to put my thoughts down, if for nothing else, maybe some day Gage & Ravyn will want to read them.

when i walked into room 745 in the CCU this morning, i never dreamed that i would see my son not only awake again, but actually tryin to text. i cant believe its been 2 weeks ago today that this nightmare started. if anyone is reading this, it's probably because you are my friend or family member and you are on my facebook account. i hope you'll forgive the time travel in this blog. i plan to write randomly, as things come to mind. the last 19 years have been, to say the least, a bumpy ride. to those of you who have been along with me, i cant thank you enough.

i actually have hope again that gage will come home, and BE gage. i realize that we still have a long long way to go before that happens, but when you beat a life treatening condition, you just start to look forward. if you're lucky enough to battle THREE life threatening conditions all at once, and can survive...well then you pretty much have to know God has some great things in store for you.

Gage was diagnosed with ARDS, sepsis, and MRSA, not to mention a medley of lesser, but significant problems about 11 days ago. i will get to all those later maybe. maybe not. all i know is that a week ago today, i thought i would bury my oldest child. today, i see in his beautiful brown eyes that fire that has kept him alive when doctor after doctor has counted him out. the first time i heard "he wont make it thru the night" he was about 6 hours old. since his very 1st breath he has had to fight for every moment. i praise God that he is as strong willed as i am.

today, we start the next chapter in this crazy ride called life. physical therapy came and started the long road back from a 9 day coma. speech will come next. we will take hour by hour, and know that with the love and support of our family and friends and with all the prayers from near and far, we can make it. we WILL make it. i have no idea what tomorrow will bring. none of us do. i just know that with Christ on my side, it just doesnt really matter. this journey may take 3-6 months. thats what the drs are saying. but then again...9 short days ago they told me to be prepared to not take my son home alive.

this blog is dedicated to my children...Gage for showing me that with God all things truely are possible. And Ravyn, for being the light behind us all. Making us laugh when tears are everywhere, for helping me be strong enough to never give up, and for understanding that i know its not fair that you have to give up so much "mom" time, but that life is often just plain not fair.