When I need to just get away I always run to my big brother. Raymond can fix everything. After cowboy church we drove to Oklahoma of all places, lol, and spent the remainder of the day laughing, talking and just being together. I didn't even cry until everyone was asleep.
Major points for me.
Shawn wasn't able to come. His grandmother isn't doing well so he needed to go be with her. I know that I am failing him as a wife right now. It breaks my heart but I'm failing at a lot of things currently. Tressie is a beautiful woman, a sweet and wonderful soul. Like Gage, I'm sure she is ready to go home and be set free from a broken body and long time of illness. Selfishly I pray it's not her time yet. I just don't know if I can be the same rock for Shawn that he has been for me the past 5 months.
But for today, I'm going to try to just breathe and get through the next 24 hrs.
If you're reading this, odds are good I consider you a friend. Thanks for standing beside me the last 24 hrs, weeks, month, 6 weeks, 40 years. However long we have been friends. But most especially the last 330 days. January 31, 2011 was the beginning of the worst year in my entire life. My life will never ever be the same again. With the healing touch of my Lord and Saviour, perhaps it will be bearable.
I know the He has a purpose for everything. I also know He loves me. No one in this world loved Gage more than me. However God above loved him most. Gage will never be forgotten. With that peace I will do my best to heal.
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